This idea has been following me around all week.
First, it came up while talking to a client who has truly suffered from knee pain, as she shared the infectious joy she'd witnessed watching her young niece fold up like a pretzel.
Then, it got repeated at my volunteer gig yesterday when the random, masked stranger working next to me mentioned that he'd wished he'd taken better care of his joints 'before it was too late.'
And then the oracle of Instagram smacked me over the head with it as I scrolled… let's just say the algorithm works.
The idea is this: 'No more pain' is not really a goal, but more of an avoidance, and a legitimate one at that. But letting pain be our only goal ignores fully half of ourselves. Our bodies are not built to just avoid things (like pain); we need to want things, too.
These days, 'wanting' so easily carries a materialistic flavor, and brings to mind the 'things' that we want.
But I'm talking about the feelings that we want.
The sensations, the experiences, the connections and realizations.
The awakenings, and the particular affirmations of the fact that we are physical creatures.
I'm talking about those events that happen to us, in real time, that we seek out and make us feel the fact: I EXIST.
This tiny seed of a being and feeling alive, of realizing our selves, lives inside every single human, no matter their body, their age, their abilities or limitations. It's like a tiny flame, the most fundamental flame, and it is called: curiosity.
So when we ask that question, of how we want our lives to feel, and we are able to settle into a state of curiosity, we are tapping into—and often tapping back into, after a long-while away—a well of energy and interest, of 'motivation' and excitement, about nothing more than the reality that we have bodies.
Our lives are embodied, and that is non-negotiable.
As I write this, I'm realizing that saying it this way might shed some light on why Hannah and I focus, in these emails, so extensively on the subjective experience of having a body, of being 'inside' the experience, and not objectively 'understanding' it intellectually.
Put simply, we will always encourage you to ask yourself: "What does it feel like to be in MY body?"
Now, this can get murky in the sense that the subjective realm is a place that science has trouble touching. It is impossible to be both the subject of observation and an unbiased observer.
Which makes 'pain' a very tricky thing to peel apart. Pain—specifically your pain—is a real thing that no one else can truly know.
So when I hear from clients (and strangers) that pain has dictated their lives in ways small and large—and I try to feel into that heavy emotional burden—I am NOT going to only focus on mitigating their pain.
Instead, I am most interested in first, validating their experience, and then asking them the same question I'll ask you now…
"What physical experiences do you want?"
Rooting for you,
Coach Will