What moves you? I mean, what makes you shift, change, or start something?
What motivates you?
When we dig into this question--as Coach Hannah and I did earlier this week--there's really another, more important question implied: how are you motivated?Â
Are you motivated by a push, or pressure? Do you only get started on some project because you have to? Because of a deadline, or coercion? Do you rely on shame, fear or scarcity to get moving?
I'd call that kind of motivation the 'Stick'. As the analogy goes, that is the low-key weapon that the rider wields to get their animal to move, inflicting just enough pain to create movement but not so much to injure their trusty beast.
The problem with this kind of motivation is that, unlike the horse above, there are "wounds" that are caused when we're beaten by the proverbial stick, even if they're not physically evident (although, occasionally, they are).Â
These "wounds" happen to our psyche, to our thought-patterns and our capacity for awareness. For that reason, they aren't exactly wounds, but actually just a kind of negative conditioning: when we are driven forward by coercion, fear and scarcity for long enough, we begin to rely on this pressure. We begin to believe that this visceral but negative kind of motivation is the only kind.Â
Thankfully, it's not. Behold, the Carrot.
That is, the kind of motivation that is caused by your attraction or interest toward something. Toward something thing that makes you curious, and drives you to investigate.
That forward impulse is often just as effective as the kind brought on by the Stick, but it conditions a whole different pattern in our psyche. Instead of reacting to fear-inducing stimuli, we heed the call of the reward center of our brain. We go after what we want.
Motivation of this type has a distinct advantage: it compounds, and makes motivation easier over time. Even if your curiosity pushes you to investigate something that you then determine is not worth any more curiousity.
Because rather than conditioning the same thought patterns that undermine your sense of agency (Stick), Carrot-motivation gives you momentum. As you satisfy your curiosity over and over you begin to find more, and the Sirens call of shame begins to be a bit easier to tune out.
As a fitness coach, I talk about motivation all the time, with all different people. And personally and professionally, I do not choose to use the Stick as motivation. Ever.
But that doesn't stop my students from using the Stick on themselves. And we all know the feeling--that hot, embarrassed wave of shame, generated and directed inward--that certainly can get us moving.
If you have a ton of experience being moved in this way, but much less experience letting your curiosity drive you forward, which do you think will exert more power over you?
And as you look to start new habits, try new things, explore new avenues and discover new layers to yourself, how will you go about motivating yourself?
Seriously, hit reply and let me know!
Go be your own hero,Â
Coach Will